Choosing a childcare that is best for your baby...

Hi blog friends!

It is the day us mommies (and dads!) dread... the day when maternity leave is up, and it is time to go back to work, and leave our sweet little baby in the hands of someone else.  For some lucky enough to stay at home with your babies, what a blessing!  For others, help comes in the faces of grandparents, aunts, friends... but for alot of us, our only choice is to bring our sweet babies to childcare.

I went back to work when Ledoux turned 3 months...hardest day of my life.  I cried for weeks before (perhaps some of those tears were because I actually had to return to work, lets be honest) but I was devastated at the thought that I would have to leave my baby with someone else.  And scared. So scared.  There was no way anyone could take as good of care of Ledoux as myself.  This, in alot of ways, is so true.  Then I remembered, isn't there a saying "It takes a community to raise a child?"  I think it is something like that.  Anyway, at the end of the day, my only option was to trust that someone else would love, nurture, and help me raise my sweet baby.  And giving that trust to someone else is soooo hard.  But I did it.


I did ALOT of research on what made a quality program.  I am lucky, in that my Masters is in Education and Early Childhood, and my mother is the department head of the Early Childhood department at a local college...so I had some tools in my belt when the time came to select who I was going to trust with the most important job in the world... my child's care.  TIMEOUT: I just said the most important job in the world.  If you haven't thought about this yet, think about it.  These are the professionals we are entrusting to raise the next generation of our cities, states, country, future... they are shaping the minds and development of our children.  If that isn't the most important job EVER, I don't know what is.  Ok, I am off my soapbox.  When it comes to choosing your child's care, there are so many things to consider, so I thought it might be helpful to compile a list of important things you may not think of when it comes to selecting who you will trust...



How could I leave this silly little face?

1.) What is the name of the program? Ok, you are thinking this is silly, but this is my biggest pet peeve.  Think about it...would you want to bring your baby to somewhere called Kidz 4ever, or Skool Time?  WOW.  That just screams professional, doesn't it?  A place of education... that doesn't even spell their name correctly?  And it is on purpose?  EEK.  Also, if the world "babysitter" or "daycare" is in their name, look elsewhere.  A quality program will refer to themselves as childcare.

2.) Education of staff.  Do I need to continue?  DO NOT bring your baby somewhere that doesn't value education of their staff.  You need to ask the director of the program, and each teacher that will interact with your baby, what their education level is.  If they haven't made it past high school... or look at you like your question is cray cray, leave. now.  Early childhood is an ever evolving field, with new discoveries being made daily as it relates to your baby... Your baby deserves the best, which starts with the people who will be with your baby everyday.  The first question I asked when visiting programs was education level.  I was looking for either a staff who holds their CDA or AA in early childhood (of course I prefer a BA!), or currently enrolled in a program. 

3.) Staff Retention.  What is the turnover of the staff?  How long have the teachers been in the field of early childhood and working with young children?  The people working with my baby need to be passionate about the field... continuity of care is CRITICAL with our babes (meaning they bond and have the same teacher, consistently.)  In a center with high turnover, that is not going to happen, which will leave your baby lacking a strong bond with their main teacher.  I also ask how long they have/want to be in the Early Childhood field.  I do not want someone watching my baby who is teaching as a job... I want it to be their career. 

4.) Spend at least 3 days in the classroom.  This is important for multiple reasons.  First, you want to help your sweet baby transition (especially if they have never been away from you!).  On day one, you spend a couple hours with your babe in the room.  The next day, perhaps you stay for an hour, and leave for an hour.  The third day, leave your baby for a full 2 hours.  It really helps the transition easier.  I also do this simply because I want to see what the teachers are like, what the dynamic of the classroom is like... are the teachers responsive to the needs of the babies?  What happens when there are two babies crying?  How is the day scheduled? Talk to the teachers... what does your gut tell you?

5.) Accreditation.  Is the program accredited?  Easy as that.  Did you even know that childcare programs can be accredited.  Yep.  They can.  And the quality ones are.  Accreditation holds the childcare program to a standard that is far higher than the others, which means the quality of care is going to be higher.  Period.  And with accreditation comes a higher probability that the staff is educated (or in the process).  Accreditation and the means in which quality is measured differs from state to state, but a good place to start is by asking the director of the program. If they give you a deer in the headlights look, run. fast.  If they start telling you, that's a good sign, but ask them what standards their accreditation requires.  Knowing they are accredited is great... but if you don't know what the accreditation requires, what good does that do you?  NAEYC (National Association for the Education of Young Children) is a biggie-- they set the standard for early care in alot of ways.

6.) Go to your local childcare licensing agency.  You can find yours simply by googling "childcare licensing in... (your state)"  Did you know that all licensed programs have visits by them to make sure they are meeting the requirements for licensing?  Any and all infractions, warnings, and penalties are public information and you need to know what they have been warned/written up/fined for.  In Arizona (where I live) I can find the information online about any licensed program in the state.  Anything, from cleaning products not being locked up to major things like child abuse, will be listed. 

7.) What is the teacher to child ratio.  This one is easy... the less children, the more teachers, the better.  In an infant room, I look for nothing more than 1 teacher to 4 babies (which is still high to me...)  I am lucky that my baby is in a room that is 1:3 right now, which is awesome. 

This is a list that is living... meaning I think of new things that I want to share with the mommies out there ALL THE TIME.  I wrote all of these questions, and more, down and did an interview with every center I visited.  And then I compared my notes. That being said, I will continue to share things that may not be top of mind as I think of them. I cannot stress enough how critical quality care is for our children, especially early care.  Hopefully, someone out there will be able to use some of this to help find a great place to help in raising their sweet babies.

Surviving the first 6 weeks of mommy-hood!

Holy Canoli...never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be writing a post about mommy anything... much less how to survive it!  That being said, I had a total mommy meltdown this morning after bringing Ledoux to school...her teacher, Miss Heather, mentioned that she thought Doodle was ready to start eating more solids (as in actual solids...not the mushy baby food stuff!) and I realized, holy shit balls batman, my baby is not a "baby" anymore... she is almost a toddler. Where the heck did the time go?  I was that mom... eyes tearing up, not ready to accept the fact that my baby was getting to big. (Oh, and then tonight, she crawled.  I don't want to talk about it yet... I will cry!)

So all of this reminded me that ALL of our close friends are having babies. soon.  Let's do the count: 3  4 of my closest girl friends, 3 of which are due within 2 weeks of each other (and within one week, give or take, from Doo's first birthday), Lee's younger brother and his wifey, Lee's best friend... That right there is 6 new babies coming into this world.  All within 3 weeks.  Let's not even start speculating about what they were all doing around the same time...(obvi!)  Clearly, I cannot wait to have yet another excuse to troll the baby gap aisles for newborn baby clothes (as if I needed an excuse!) and start the arranged marriages between them all,  but even more than that, I have really enjoyed being the go-to know it all when it comes to babies.  (WHAT?? If you knew me pre-baby, you would understand how shocking this really is!)  Those first few weeks were rough, hell, the first few months were rough... so I thought it fitting to write a post about some of the things I wish I would have known in those first 6 weeks.  So here it goes... perhaps this will help all of the mommies to be :)

1. Think of the first 3 months as your 4th trimester- think of it this way: this is your 4th trimester. Your little baby knows nothing about this world, and is brand new. It is up to you to transition them to this crazy world... and it cannot be done overnight. Make the environment for your baby as "womb friendly" as possible, meaning swaddle them (the tighter, the better!), sway them, "swoosh" at them (make the swooshing sound) and use a white noise machine. As your baby adjusts to the outside, you will do less and less of these things. You are attached (literally, in some cases) to this little baby 24/7, so although the baby is now outside of your body, your job is far from over.

2. Share your feelings!- You will compare yourself to every other mommy out there.  And you will read baby blogs and stories and will think to yourself "How am I such a hot mess, and they are so perfect?" Don't get it twisted girlies, those people do not have it all together.  We all go through the same things, so be open about it!  You will find comfort in opening up, and seeing that others will too.

3. Shower Daily- Serious.  Just for a minute.  You will feel better.

4. Baby blues are real. You are exhausted, you are emotional (hellooooo hormones!), you are adapting to a new life, and as the mommy- you are the babe's main life line.  You feel huge, un-attractive, and sometimes a bit like a milking cow.  Um Hello! Who wouldn't have the baby blues?  Its ok.  I cried everyday. For 3 weeks. It is completely overwhelming.  Trust me, it will get better, and if it doesn't, tell your doctor! They can help you get back to your normal self.

5. Welcome help: You cannot do everything with baby, and cook, clean, etc. If someone offers to help, let them help.  And if someone doesn't offer to help, ask them to. This is not the time to have the "I can do it all" attitude.  You need to rest.  When baby sleeps, mommy sleeps.  I thought I would be able to do it all- until I came home from the hospital and realized it was impossible.  I am so thankful that I had a supportive hubby to play Mr. Mom... but if you don't have that same situation, find someone who can support and help you. 

6. Make meals before hand :  This is some of the best advice ever.  Take the time now, while you are in full on nesting mode, to make food and freeze eat.  Think lasagnas, enchiladas, etc.  You can easily pop it in the oven and eat a home made meal, in no time flat.

7. If you need to cry, cry! Nothing is better then sitting in the shower, let the water hit your back, and crying.

8. Nap when baby naps. My friend Andi gave me to best advice ever: think of your sleep as power naps.  Throw your idea of sleep out the window (no more 8+ hours a night for a while, sorry...)but instead, think of your your sleep as power napping.  You take the naps when your baby sleeps.  If baby falls asleep, turn off the tv and the phone, and do the same.  Your only focus is baby, and you simply cannot be the best mommy you can be if you aren't well rested.

9. Walk away- You are not a bad mommy if you have to take what I call a mental health break. If you have done everything in your power (your baby is clean, fed, changed, swaddled, and still crying) and you are at your breaking point, put him/her in a safe place and walk away. Regroup, find yourself, and go back.  I did this more than once... even just having 30 seconds to regroup was helpful.  If you have help, have them step in so you can take a moment and have a break.  You are not a bad mommy!

10. Breast Feeding is HARD- Breast feeding is hard work and typically does not happen naturally and requires alot of planning, trying, and frustration. Is it best for your baby?  Yes. But please Mommy's, don't get down on yourself if you find that you have to supplement.  Heck, some Mommy's have to do formula exclusively.  No one out there knows what is best for YOUR baby but you.  I had a low supply, and beat myself up about the fact that I couldn't make enough milk for my  baby.  And then I realized, I was sressing out and beating myself up about not being able to feed her the way I wanted to... key word being "I"... so because I wanted it to go one way, my baby wasn't eating enough.  How in the heck does that make any sense? so what did I do? I supplemented with formula.  At the end of the day, I have a healthy, happy baby, and I was a mommy who wasn't stressed out and beating myself up at every feeding.  There is nothing I hate more than people who make you feel bad about deciding how you will feed your baby.  Trust me, everyone has an opinion (most pro-BFing), but it is soooo not the end of the world if it doesn't work out for you.

11. Burp often- easily stated.  Burp them, it will get the gas and air bubbles out and help prevent colic and babies that have upset little tummies.  Which translates in you not having a screaming baby.

12. Keep Snacks, Magazines, and your DVR close by- nursing is a FULL time job. When you breast feed your baby it will feel like it is a never ending task. My baby was a comfort sucker, and every night, like clockwork, starting at 6pm, she would nurse FOR HOURS.  That isn't an exaggeration.  Also, remember that baby goes from the time the feeding was started not the end time of the feeding (which means she start at 1 pm, you end at 2 pm, and baby is ready again at 3 pm). Keeping things within reach before your feeding session is started will make breast feeding much easier. 

13. Keep those Maternity Clothes! 2 reasons: first of all, your skinny pre-baby jeans are not going to fit... don't depress yourself with trying.  And two, you want to be comfortable... and there is nothing more comfy then maternity clothes. period.  I may or may not still wear my maternity leggings and tank tops sometimes.  :)

14.) It gets better.  I remember thinking to myself, what is so great about this?  All my baby does is cry, eat, and poop.  I do not see the magic in this baby stuff.  And slowly, but surely, Ledoux started growing up and showing her personality.  And playing.  And smiling.  And now, looking back, all I can say is trust me... if you don't love it yet, thats ok.  You will.  It will come!

And just a reminder, time goes by so fast...cherish every moment (as hard as it can be at 3 am when your baby is screaming.)  Trust me, it gets better! So much better! And yes, baby will eventually start sleeping through the night :)  Here are two pics that proove how fast time flies.  Ledoux's first bath at 7 days old, and a bath last week.  What a change!

7 Months!

OMG... my baby is 7 months.  How is it possible that it has been 7 months?  And even more...I can't believe I have made it 7 months and I am still alive! I do have to say, everyday that goes by it gets better.  I remember thinking in the first few weeks (heck, even months!) that this wasn't fun at all!  The long hours, lack of sleep, crying...but now Ledoux is a sassy little ball of energy!  Who knew so much personality could be in such a little body?

                                                      Here we go with our updates!

Sleeping?  She sleeps like a rock- although her 'hours' are changing a bit.  She now goes down about 730 pm, and wakes up at 6 am.  ON.  THE.  DOT.  Obvi I am glad she sleeps all night, but come on baby!  Can't you sleep in once in a while?  Ya right.

Eating? All the time.  She takes down 'tall boys' (that's our word for 8 oz bottles...her daddy made that up in reference to his favorite beverage...beer)  Great.  My baby will start talking and tell all the other kids she drinks tall boys.  LOL.

Health?  She's great!  That's all there is on this one!  She is super long- she is taller (by a landslide!) than all the other babies at school.  Lee says she is going to be a volleyball player, and with her new favorite activity of slapping us, I can see her as a spiker. (Seriously, she slaps the shit out of her daddy's face...I think she likes the noise it makes.)

Likes?  Pulling hair, smacking her toys against hard surfaces, us throwing things...wow.  that doesn't sound good.  But it makes her crack up.  She loves to take her toys, and hit them as hard as she can on something.  And she loves when I throw things on the floor or at the wall.  Whatever makes baby happy.  Happy baby=happy life.  She also loves going to school!  She kicks her legs and gets so excited...when I go pick her up in the afternoons, she is usually busy playing with the other babies and laughing.  She also loves bath time, eating new baby foods, and bouncing up and down.

Dislikes? She still hates her carseat and screams bloody murder when she has to get strapped in.  She has developed a sense of stranger danger- when someone she doesn't know tries to talk to her, she gets a HUGE pout lip and screams.  She also doesn't like being a busy places with lots of people.. I think it just puts her on baby overload.

Milestones: We have 2 teeth!  Wahooooo!  I am mostly excited because this means she isn't a bitchy baby anymore!  Both of her front teeth came in, one day apart.  Poor thing, no wonder she wasn't sleeping and was unhappy!  There is nothing cuter than a baby with little teeth, but those things HURT!  Ledoux was gnawing on my finger at dinner last week, and she chomped down and left a mark in my skin!  Eek!  Neither of us saw that coming. Note to self: Don't let baby chew on me anymore.

How are mommy and daddy?  We are so good!  Busy as always...Lee works 12 hour shifts 4-5 days a week, which is hard on him because he doesn't get to see Ledoux as much as he would like.  But when he is off, they spend the whole day together.  Mommy is busy working too, from home!  It is pretty awesome, but Doodle still goes to school everyday still (so that I can actually get something done!) She actually loves school, so that makes it easier.  Other than that, we are pretty excited to go to New Mexico in a couple of weeks for a George Strait concert!  It will be our first night without Ledoux, so I am excited/nervous!